Reinterpreting Your Interpretations

Recently, I was given the opportunity to revisit the interpretations that were useful to me in referencing myself and my life 22 years ago. I was surprised to find some old pain lingering in those interpretations. I hadn't focused on these memories in quite awhile and was unaware that my interpretations were unconsciously holding a marker for an outdated perception from my past. I mostly remembered myself at this time in my life as having a desperate readiness for change, an inability to bring resolution to my current circumstances, and a culmination of intensity that gave me the will to fight for my right to change my life in ways that were essential for me to flourish. I did move into a new direction of life, with new relationships and different routines, while also carrying with me the unsettled acceptance of things left incomplete. I internalized my inaccessible sense of resolution in a way that engaged me in a very personal, probing inquiry about the quality of my overall relationship to life: "Why can't I have what I want?"

As my life moved on, I hadn't realized that this question had stayed with me and become a link in my subconscious orientation to change. Whenever I would sense a need for change in my being, this unconsciously held interpretation of being unsupported through the process of change would flip on like a switch. The definition of an interpretation is "an explanation that establishes the meaning or significance of something." My interpretation established that change was a desperate & difficult process that challenged my sense of permission to have what I wanted in life. This interpretation instructed me to go about the process of change by building my internal fire of frustration, anger & dissatisfaction, finally culminating in a force of will to stand in the place of "I no longer accept this!" so as to catapult me across the chasm of indecision & compromise into greater clarity and movement toward what I wanted. This interpretation maintained the necessity for struggle in accessing and responding to my changing needs. This assumed sense of embattled effort was a reinforcement of my parents' model of change, and became a self-imposed state of suffering as I transferred this meaning into my own experience of change.

As my self-understanding has grown through the years, I have learned that my personal model for change actually involves much greater degrees of ease than I ever thought possible 22 years ago. I actually "go with the flow" really well and have a natural comfort & excitement for embracing change. As a result of my shift in self-perception, my relationship to life has adjusted a great deal since back then. However, amidst all my changes, that 22-year-old interpretation was still active. It wasn't a daily program I used in life, but it was still there as a lingering undertone that was once useful in making sense of my experiences. Even though I had moved on for the most part, my system was still allocating energy for that interpretation to be available just in case it could be useful again someday. The catch is that based on who I've become, there is absolutely no congruence in that interpretation with who I am today. I had "forgotten" about my inborn ability to reinterpret my past interpretations so that my precious energy for living was feeding who I am right now and who I am becoming in the next moment.

Our interpretations provide us with everything we need to originate and modify different versions of reality as we change. They are the primary mechanism through which we extract meaning from our thoughts and feelings. At first, we use our senses to acquire information and then mentally translate this information to form a perception. Without even realizing it, we can easily make the leap into accepting our translations as real and true. If the meaning we apply is useful to us, then we are inclined to organize our interpretations into beliefs. With consistent usage, we further refine these beliefs, expanding their usage into a full-fledged belief system. However, we also possess this remarkable ability to reinterpret our interpretations. Meaning holds different values for us as we change, and through interpretation, we assign meaning. So how is it that we so easily forget to utilize this amazingly creative ability to reinterpret our experiences?

Even though your family may not have offered you this tool, it is your natural birthright as a human being to determine what is meaningful for you and to utilize your interpretations to give you access to the meaning that will bring your life into purpose. Many people will argue that "These events took place, this is what happened, and nothing can change that." This is the statement of a mind that has accepted its own interpretations as truth. The "facts" of what has happened are what they are – something was done, said, denied or lost. But what it means is determined by you through your interpretations. Even the most harmful events don't require you to be harmed. Even the most personalized encounters can be reinterpreted to restore freedom to the perception of being held captive to your experiences. Reinterpretation is a skill that needs practice and is often best supported through the assistance of others. However, sometimes we are so ready for change that when life offers us the chance to let go of old interpretations, we simply open ourselves to a shift in perception, allowing the part of us that was being held hostage to be gently guided back to the heart of who we are now.

Even if you aren't aware of your past interpretations having a hold on you, your clarity of purpose, or the direction & momentum of your life, it is still useful to ask yourself if you are willing to take the time to review your past and see if any parts stand out as having a set-in-stone meaning associated with your stories. Sometimes, those places of perceived certainty are referenced by the remembrance of your storyline being "the only way things could have happened," or the feeling of being stuck with the way it was and having no choice, or reflected in your held judgments of someone else's actions, inactions or words. This isn't a suggestion to wrestle with your past. This is an invitation to become aware of the interpretations that give meaning to your pain, struggle and incompleteness ~ so that you can offer yourself the chance to reinterpret your interpretations in a way that empowers you to grow into your fullest potential and bring forth your greatest expressions of inspiration.

"Each of us has to come to terms with how we're affected by holding

on to an old, unevolved view of ourselves and our lives.

Each of us has to make a conscious decision to alter our world

by altering our interpretations. Shift your interpretation of a word,

and not only will it lose its negative charge, it will return

your own power to you. … Remembering we are the ones

choosing what we see is essential."

Author Debbie Ford offers further insight into the process of reinterpreting your interpretations in her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming your Power, Creativity, Brilliance & Dreams ("Reinterpreting Yourself"—Chapter 8, pp. 123, 133).

Blessed to be a Witness

As we encounter each other in daily life, we are offered opportunities to experience one another in a place of personal suffering. Suffering is defined as "physical or psychological pain and distress." We are mostly accustomed to identifying physical suffering, as we observe someone struggling with an illness, managing the effects of disease, or coping with an injury or deformity. Psychological suffering is less accepted. We are fascinated by our capacity to engage and express suffering. We allow ourselves to investigate vicariously through movies and images of world disaster. Yet, we really don't know what to do when that "private" part of our experience is exposed in daily life.

When another person reacts from that vulnerable place of distress, we have learned to guard ourselves with ideas of threat that substantiate our defensiveness. We have adopted ideas of being "put upon" as though we believe that others have the power to control our goodness and influence us back into our darker parts. We have been taught to not let others "pull us down" as they descend into the depths of their own anguish & pain. Suffering is a very personal experience, and we've all learned to take it so very personal. But suffering is also universal. Every single human being will experience at some point in their lifetime some form of internal conflict, torment, oppression, persecution, agony or sorrow that feels unbearable. Suffering is a state of loss, which can be sudden or start as an irresolvable discomfort that produces greater degrees of struggle and pain in our bodies and being. But suffering is more than pain; it is a combination of physical, mental, emotional & spiritual distress. Given that we all have this capacity in common, why is it so difficult for us to navigate being a witness to each other's suffering?

It has a lot to do with what part of our being we live from. If we live our lives from the mind, then we are more likely to perceive suffering as a loss of control. The body is our natural resource for allowing the experience of suffering, not the mind. The mind is for analyzing, understanding, organizing, compartmentalizing, categorizing and putting things together. Suffering is a need for pause, for breaking things down, to disarm and disassemble in order to reveal something deeper. We will be as disoriented with another's suffering as we are unfamiliar with our own. As we learn to live our lives more from our bodies, we encounter the awareness and sensitivity to things deeper in our humanity, giving birth to the tolerance and compassion that brings forth the true witness in each of us. Bearing witness to our own suffering and being in service to witness the suffering of another … these are our ultimate obstacles and our greatest capacity for union, joining each of us as a link in the formation of an enhanced and expanding whole.

Through the focus of the intellect, the mind will attempt to put up barriers to being present with observable suffering. These barriers present themselves mostly in the form of judgment. We feel more comfortable when we can judge someone else's behavior as "inappropriate," usually in calculations of too much or not enough. We seem to pick up on the personal nature of another's suffering, but since our mind's perception responds with so much filtering, we end up applying our experience too personally and make it about protecting ourselves. We feel treated unfairly, improperly, victimized by the other person's place of imbalance, as though we are being challenged or imposed upon by their inability to be more in control of their own experience. We focus on how we are being affected, and how out of control we feel in the presence of suffering. We perceive that the other person's "unacceptable" behavior has the power to inflict upon us unjustified pain, which we naturally want to deflect, resist and resent.

What if we could recognize in that moment that we are receiving insight about another's state of suffering? What if we could actually make this conscious distinction and acknowledge the suffering that is present in another, and then allow our own perception to be informed with this awareness? What if this awareness of suffering didn't threaten us, but actually enlightened us as to how to be in relationship with our own experience? What if we actually felt grateful for the opportunity to bear witness to a fellow human being in this place of creative birth, with the knowledge that the fires of suffering will burn away all that is unimportant and leave only the truth to remain? What if this knowledge is our gift too?

We have been granted the unique access through suffering to see each other, hear each other, and to be known. What if the growing degree of suffering in this world is simply an invitation to stand before each other and receive the collective blessings of our oneness? Will we decline this invitation and continue to react through separation & containment, fostering self-preservation and denying our longing to belong? Or will we choose to stand in this place of honor and proclaim our existence through our infinite capacity for love and our boundless power to embrace one another amidst our suffering? We will pass from this life in time, but while we are here in each other's presence, what if we offered our hearts instead of protecting them … what if we were blessed to be a witness?

"Glory behold all my eyes have seen, have seen ...

I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed to be a witness.

Gather around for today won't come again, it won't come again ...

I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed to be a witness.

So much sorrow and so much pain, still I will not live in vain …

I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed to be a witness."

Ben Harper, Excerpt from Blessed To Be a Witness (Diamonds On The Inside, Album)

The Recipe of Your Life

It's amazing to me how familiar we are with the concept of lack. Lack is defined as either "not having enough of something" or the "absence of a particular thing." It refers to things neglected, ignored and overlooked. It helps us to delineate what we have & who we are by what is absent. It governs what we are willing or unwilling to receive. We can recognize lack in the places where we have given up, and given in to indifference, carrying with us the ghosts of broken-heartedness, disappointment, betrayal, resentment, or simply numbness. Lack feels very real when we acknowledge the scarce or non-existent money or support in our lives. However, before the effect of lack persists in our lives, there exists a perspective of lack – the idea that something essential has been omitted. This idea compels us to operate under the assumption that what we need has not been anticipated & supplied; that something offered or promised was not fulfilled; that what should have been was not allowed or provided, causing us to go without whatever we needed, wanted or deserved.

Overall, our perspective of lack is a powerful determinant in shaping our life experiences. Given the potent influence of this perception, it is worthwhile to question where we have applied this interpretation, causing us to believe that something we need is missing in our experience. Where do you believe that lack exists in your life? What part of your life has been tucked inside the protective perception of lack? This perception helps us cope with the experiences that we cannot accept or tolerate. The idea of lack gives us a way to contain the messy effect of these experiences in our identity. Lack acts as a safety measure to help us regain a perception of control. But this perception is not a true exercise of self-authority, for as long as lack is present in our reasoning, we are living in the oppression and torment of our incompletenesses.

The assessment of lack brings with it distortion, altering our perceptions and causing us to make things personal. But in order to explore our experiences more fully, we need a more neutral or objective way of considering this element. We need a different set of assumptions to allow us to investigate our beliefs and discover new insights. What about using the concept of a recipe? Recipes give us clear guidelines by providing a list of ingredients and instructions for making something. Just as every essential ingredient is listed on the recipe (eggs, butter, flour, sugar …), so is every non-essential ingredient omitted (salt, pepper …). Sometimes a recipe offers additional options, like adding raisins or chocolate chips. Just as these extra ingredients are optional, the principle ingredients listed in the recipe are critical. We assume that the recipe's success depends upon the combination of the necessary ingredients, as well as the purposeful absence of other ingredients.

What if we viewed our lives as having a recipe? What if instead of assuming that we lack what we need – that somehow the essential ingredients to our happiness and success were overlooked, forgotten or withheld from us – instead, we took a leap of faith and accepted that the main ingredients present in our childhood were the necessary ingredients of our recipe? What if you considered that you received exactly what your life recipe called for, nothing more and nothing less? What if the parts that were "missing" are actually unessential to the recipe of your life? These questions offer a considerable shift in perspective, especially if you harbor pain for how things have been in your life. But truly, what do you have to lose … except for the familiarity and the pain?

If you believe that something has been missing in your life, and that this lack has been a handicap to you, your personal growth will remain stifled and your expression of joy will remain muted as long as this story of lack is unable to change. We are meant to grow throughout our lives, which sometimes means acquiring new experiences, and definitely means acquiring new perspectives about our experiences. Our perspectives allow us to integrate, which means to become more whole, or they can also bind us in our fragmentation, leaving us to feel separate & detached. This disconnected place is where we can feel very alone and isolated. This is a forsaken place that is entered and departed through perspective. You can choose to remain hostage here, or seek to regain your freedom.

You may have adopted your perspective of lack under duress. You may have needed it to navigate a crisis. It may have been the only belief helping you to make sense of things until now. But as long as you continue to apply lack to your life and filter the truth of your experiences, you will continue surviving. So the question that follows this awareness is … Is survival the standard of living that nurtures you? We filter our experiences to feel safe, but this filter also removes our access to the exact ingredients and instructions that transform our pain into wisdom and our sorrows into blessings. You can continue getting by, but one day for sure, it will no longer be enough. And when it is no longer enough for you to live from lack, it will be time for you to return to your recipe, with its special ingredients and instructions for making the one and only life that is meant for you.

Listening to Your Tension

Tension is a natural resource for your body. However, we've adapted ourselves to the cultural perspective that tension is our adversary. We have dedicated great degrees of effort and creativity to reducing the disruptive influences of tension. We've created pills to assist us with our inability to be at ease in our bodies and our lives. We've learned practices to relieve our struggles and amplify relaxation. We participate in activities to discharge blockages and restore balance. But no matter what we do, tension returns. With tension as our adversary, we seem to be in constant battle for peace. Maybe we need a new assumption; maybe it's time to gain a new perspective. Is it possible that tension could be an ally in our growth?

We can identify tension through states of acknowledged discomfort: as we become reactive, through a sense of being controlled, as we encounter limitations, as expressed through worry & strain. However, tension is also definable as a byproduct of the energy that is your power supply for life. Tension is the consequence of "held energy" in your being. Energy is needed by every aspect of your being as food for optimal functioning in your body, mind, emotions & spirit. The level at which you function is determined by how much "freed up energy" is available for your being to use ~ to fuel you at either survival levels of function or in states of thriving and growth. So in this way, tension can be viewed as a "marker" for reminding you that you have vital life energy in storage, like unused money in the bank.

How does held energy become freed-up so you can have more fuel to live your life more fully? Transforming the state of your energy is a process of conversion. As tension builds in our bodies, so does focus. This focus signals us to bring our attention back into ourselves and listen to our needs. Sometimes, we listen through the sensations of restriction, fullness or tightness. Other times, our symptoms link us to our tension. Through all of this support, we are given the chance to make a voluntary shift in focus back to ourselves. However, if we are unwilling to listen, then we can expect our symptoms to intensify to the point of "demanding" that we return to home base and listen to our bodies. It is essential for our health and wholeness that we learn to be responsible for ourselves by tuning-in, recognizing & responding to our needs.

There are many health practices that offer structure for this learning process of greater self-responsibility. However, you have it within you right now to begin paying attention:

1) TUNING-IN TO YOUR NEEDS: The easiest way of adopting this daily practice is through the support of your focused breath & touch. Offer yourself a pause each day, closing your eyes to give yourself a break from the input of the world, and breathe, at least 10-20 breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Use each breath to bring your attention, from wherever it is at this moment, back onto you and back into your body. Place your hands on your torso wherever you feel your breath moving in your body (for example, your belly, ribcage or your chest). Your touch is a natural cue that your brain knows how to translate into focus.

Pause at least once a day to consciously tune-in to yourself through your breath and touch. Try checking-in before you get out of bed in the morning and before you fall asleep at night. Do this tuning-in process when you feel yourself getting stressed in your day, moving too fast or feeling too busy. Feel your muscles expand outward with the inhale and release inward with the exhale. Allow yourself to shift your attention back to your internal setting. This is where your needs reside, inside you. This pause is your time to remember the importance of you & your needs in the midst of your busyness.

2) RECOGNIZING YOUR NEEDS: After you have found your breath, notice your tension. Recognize where it is it located … all over, in your head, in a specific set of muscles or deep inside you? Notice where you feel tired, heavy or uncomfortable, and bring your touch there. Breathe in your nose & out your mouth as you link your awareness to the tension. Let your breath be gentle, not too intense or deep, just easy and full.

If your breath is hard to connect with, count out the length of your inhale & exhale. We tend to breathe shallow when we are busy. Find out your baseline breathing rhythm by counting out the reach of your in & out breath. Notice if your inhale & exhale rhythms match. Challenge yourself to stretch out your breath one increment at a time. The count of five will be a full breath. If your baseline breath is at two, then a gradual shift to a three then four-count will be enough to supportively alter your blood pressure, heart rate and brain waves. Find a comfortable shift that you can allow.

3) RESPONDING TO YOUR NEEDS: The purpose of energy is to express life, and movement is the means for that expression. Tension reminds us of our need for movement. Movement is necessary to our physical, mental & emotional health. Our bodies need to move, our thoughts need to change, and our feelings need to express. Tension will build in us as a result of stifled movement if any of these needs go unacknowledged.

Change is movement, and movement allows us to embrace change rather than resist it. Change stretches us, and our degree of being stretched for growth produces tension. So touch the tension in your body, in your head, wherever you can notice it, and offer the needed movement with your hands. Remember that movement brings change naturally, so you don't need to force it or figure it out. You have your breath to internally massage and help you feel yourself. You have your touch to bring the warmth & circulation needed to restore your body's energy flow. And you have your focus to direct your movement, allowing your being to stretch beyond the bindings of your tension and seek the spaciousness that is needed for integration.

Tension prompts you to embody the movement that is needed to alter your momentum, to merge your attention with the flow of change and connect your presence into the moment that is unfolding right now. Tension serves as a guardian, deterring you from faltering or losing yourself in a life of settling and habitual routines. Tension honors your conviction for growth and leads you back to stand on firm ground. Tension is a reminder of your WHOLE SELF ~ that who you are is of greater value than your separate parts. The way of the world emphasizes that only certain parts of us are needed for participation in life, and we are practiced at offering only those parts that will assure us the things we need most. But we must also remember that it takes a tremendous amount of energy to be compartmentalized in our being, and it comes with specific consequences that absolutely diminish our quality of life.

Change is occurring in us daily, and if we do not choose to tune-in, recognize & respond to these changes, then we will eventually find ourselves living a life that has little or no meaning. So grant yourself a daily pause to remember your needs, as these are your special instructions for finding inspiration & wholeness. Practice listening to your tension. Your body is a literal wealth of insights, and your tension is a devoted reminder of the treasures that are waiting to be discovered inside you. These treasures are the gifts of who you are, and your gifts are urgently needed in this world.